Updating Week 4

This could easily turn into a mammoth post but i’m short for time.

Week 5 weigh in and only a 500g loss on scales, this is evident of how little i’m doing so the only person i can blame is me! I let the excuses come in this week, I have just felt absolutely stuffed! I needed a week after the school holidays to just recoup, do nothing if i feel like it and focus on getting the house back in some order (yeah that worked out real well, each time i get somewhere someone else (KIDS!!!!) ruin in but such is life). Given this though the cm’s are moving from my waist and my hips so I am not going to complain about that. I wish that i could make it move from my hips faster!  So so far in the past 4 weeks i have lost 5.6kg. Just 400g shy of my first 4 weekly goal which was 6kg but its a good effort!

People are noticing now that i’m losing weight, I’m getting compliments and pats on the back which is very encouraging. I love seeing the eyes bulge when I say oh yeah i’ve lost 20kg!! It is a feat, a great achievement I know but I guess i’m not feeling how i thought I would. When i look in the mirror i still see the muffin top, the saggy tummy, the saggy tuckshop arms and sometimes I just dont feel any different. I then start a vicious cycle of getting angry at myself (how could i have been so stupid all these years, how could i have damaged my body!) You get the picture. My pants are falling around my bum but when I think of trying a smaller size I have a little voice inside my head saying “your kidding yourself right, a 16 will never fit!”I really need to get rid of that little voice, its not my friend in anyway but its been there for 27 years so its certainly not going to go away over night. What i should be doing is using that voice to fuel the fire!

As my fitness has increased and the weight come off, I’ve found my exercise needs have changed. I’m starting to feel bored at the gym. Sorry running on the treadmill is just boring and the double classes, well they are burning the calories off but its not doing anything else for me. I’ve been going to boxing classes and the training is certainly different. I’ve learnt more about my body and even surprised myself. I’m able to punch with the boys (although punching on witht the trainer last weekend was a tad scary!!) and its a great stress relief. It has me re-thinking all of my exercise goals and plans. I know what my body needs but its a matter of finding someone who can push me like that. Sounds weird but I want to be like the contenstants on the biggest loser, I wan to get to that point where the body feels it can’t take anymore and they are spewing up. Only once  have i felt a tad nausiated but never have i ever been pushed to that limit. Its almost that i’m craving that type of workout. Who would have thought! This is coming from the girl or actually i should say woman because I am not a girl anymore, who hated even walking. Yes I hated walking that much that when i was pregnant and had to walk back up the inlaws hill I cried! (yes mil i know if your reading this you will be laughing cause i laugh about it now too).

This past week though I reached a little goal clothes wise. I went into the shops with my sister in law as i needed to try on some new dresses (i have a very poor wardrobe at the moment and feel most comfortable in my gym gear!). so we went around and picked out some dresses for me to try on, not once did i even step into the plus size section. I went and grabbed some 16’s and they all fit! Some didn’t look great, not everything suits everyone but I was just over the moon that they actually fit. To think back in May (4 and a bit months ago) I was wearing a city chic size large (20-22) dresses and size 22 jeans!! today i tried on a pair of shorts in a 16, they were a tad tight but they fit. i didn’t get them, shorts and me just don’t mix but I just wanted to try.

So going to attach a photo for you so you can see the difference (that i’m still not happy with) from the beginning of 12wbt, the end of 12wbt and 3 weeks into my second round. I am proud of my achievements but i need to deal with these other issues too. Losing weight is not just about dropping the kg’s its an emotional and mental journey that sometimes teaches you things you thought you knew about yourself.

Thanks for reading my small essay! Its a bit of a mixed one.

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Posted on October 7, 2011, in Weight Loss Journey. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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